I recently started a new job in software consulting. As such, travel is a must. It leads to all manner of interesting discoveries. Here are my first observations:

The first thing you notice, stepping off the plane, is that you are at
Gate 5. Not C-5. Or A-5. Just 5. But the airport has many
terminals. I guess you have to get lucky and go to the correct
terminal.

Then, as you’re waiting for your bags at baggage claim, you realize
that you are in an urgent nation… urination. The nearest bathroom
is 100 feet away… if you’re a woman. If you’re a man, it’s an
additional 200 feet away… down some stairs… around a corner… and
through two doors.

Driving into the client’s campus, several things become evident.
First, you have to stick to the right lane, or else you get stuck in a
left-turn-only lane. But right after that, you have to get into the
left lane or else you will get stuck in a right-turn-only lane. At
8 am, this is a stunt-driver’s confidence course, as there is
bumper-to-bumper traffic the whole way.

The next thing that gets noticed is the lovely parking decks. This
makes it great on rainy or snowy days. Or at least it would be if the
parking decks were anywhere near the buildings. It’s a good 100
yards. As the crow flies. Double that if you walk on the sidewalks
instead of trampling the bushes.

So, you park your car and get out. You feel grand because you got a
parking space near the entrance/exit, so the walk will be a little
shorter. Until you realize that the pedestrian entrance/exit is
around the side of the building. Mental note: park in this corner of
the deck.

Then you go inside the building where people are working and the first
thing you find is stairs… lots of them. Well, hell, you’re carrying
50 pounds of stuff, but your brifecase has wheels, so where’s the
elevator? After a brief search (10 minutes), you locate the elevator,
nowhere near the stairs, and push the button. Getting in, another
elevator patron asks, “what floor?” “Two,” you say confidently. The lady
looks at you like you’re crazy. “Which two?” she asks. After a brief
conversation, you discover that the building has half-floors. That’s
right! Floors that are a half-story off of the other floors. How
does the elevator handle this? Simple, the main floors exit to the
South, and the tweener floors open to the North. So, there’s 2 North
and 2 South. Don’t get them confused or you’re screwed (so far, it
doesn’t look like there’s any way to walk between the two without
either an access badge or going through the elevator).

So, at lunch, you run out and grab some chow and come back. But you
have to park on the second of three stories of the parking deck. No
problem, you know which corner to park in! And then you realize that
the exit from the second level is on the far corner from the exit from
the first level. No stairs. What?!?!?!? And of course, this adds an
additional 50 yards to the trek. Good thing it’s only lightly
raining.

Later, upon exiting the office and heading out for the day, you
attempt to leave the parking deck. At this point, you realize that
the parking deck also has half-levels. And you have to figure-eight
your way down to get to the ground-level exit. Level 2.5, level 2,
level 1.5, ah… level 1. Now you’re dizzy.

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